The wedding of a loved one is often described as the event of the year as family members count down the days and take plenty of photos to ensure the day is never forgotten. But for this teenager, she was unable to see her sister walk down the aisle due to her “emo outfit.”
In a now-viral Reddit post, u/Salt_Path5157 explained her eldest daughter Ashley, 26, tied the knot on January 20. Her younger sister Alex, 15, helped her plan the wedding but at the last minute, she was uninvited by the mom due to her choice of clothing.
The mom explained Alex was supposed to wear a long sage green dress but on the day of the wedding, she was in for a shock. Alex made a “large slit” that went up to her thigh and added “a skull necklace, earnings, punk rock boots, and really dark makeup.”
Zoe Ayre, a gentle parenting author, exclusively spoke to Newsweek about the post that has received 7,100 upvotes.
She said: “The damage caused by excluding her could well be more significant than allowing her to attend, and potentially could have been avoided by taking a different approach and trying to talk things through.”
The mom explained she attempted to alter the dress and make the slit shorter as it was so high her underwear was visible.
“Alex got mad and said it was fine and was in the dress code. I told her no and that [she] will stand out. She refused again and I told her if she won’t fix it then she can stay home. She refused again and she missed the wedding. Ashley understood why her sister wasn’t here, but my husband was furious with me and called me a jerk. Alex is still not talking to me,” she wrote.
Ayre, who is the author of the upcoming book I Will Always Help You Sleep, said children “need the opportunity” to express themselves.
“Using a respectful parenting approach, we would want to make sure that our children know that our love is unconditional and that nothing they do will stop us from loving them. That being said, it is absolutely okay to have rules and boundaries, and in this case, that meant that both the mother and the bride felt it was inappropriate for the teen sibling to come to the wedding dressed like that,” Ayre said.
The mom has been flooded with thousands of supportive comments, the top one has received over 15,000 upvotes, it said: “NTA, it was attention seeking (even if that is her style) a wedding/formal event is not a time and place to express yourself. You were looking out for the bride/your daughter.”
The Redditor has added an update to the original post stating she is “fine” with her daughter expressing herself but “there is a time and place.”
Another user said: “I was beginning to doubt my own feelings until I read this. Alex can suck it up for one day. She has 364 days to dress to her preferences. OP is NTA.”
“A 15-year-old wearing a slit that shows her underwear is inappropriate as well,” said another person.
Newsweek reached out to u/Salt_Path5157 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
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